Morningstar - Photo Shoot with Aki Aro

This is the moment many have been waiting for! The results from the Park Hotel photo shoot with Aki Aro! I really loved how it ended up. Playing with different lights was very effective and I think that even though it's half nude it still isn't cheesy or too much. :) Just what I wanted!


This is a part of the photos but since there's a lot of material I'll give it in smaller pieces as and when we pick the rest shots. ^^

All the photos are taken by Aki Aro / Photoworks.fi
Click to view the larger version!

"I. Kill."

Vlog 4: Potpourri from Finnish Animal Trainer Union's seminar

Photo: Jenni Kaurila

Onpa ollut mielettömän upea alkuviikko! Olin maanantaina ja tiistaina Suomen Eläintenkouluttajat ry:n tietonyyttäreillä luennoimassa papukaijojen koulutuksen haasteista ja aggressiosta. Tapasin monia uusia todella kivoja ihmisiä ja tulipa saatua myös niin hyvää piirakkaa, että oikein harmittaa, ettei sitä päätynyt kotiin mukana paria palaa enempää. Pyro oli ensikertalaisena mukana tämänlaisessa tapahtumassa. Tein pienen videokoosteen kokemuksestamme. :)

I've been feeling awesome! This Monday and Tuesday I was giving lectures about challenges in parrot training. There were many awesome people and I also had a chance to taste such a great pie that it's a pity I didn't take it with me more than a couple pieces. My white-bellied caique Pyro was with me and I made a little video potpourri about the trip. I'm talking Finnish but there's much more picture material so I guess also you English readers can understand the key points of the video. :)
The last sentence is about: "...And it cannot really be stressed enough how deeply important this is." 

Kim In Alexander Wang Crop Top + Skirt

 

Style Snapshot - Alexander Wang Crop Top + Skirt & Tom Ford Shoes

INTERVIEW - Kim On Jimmy Kimmel LIVE 2014

Kim On Jimmy Kimmel LIVE In Dior

 

Style Snapshot - Dior Top & Skirt, Manolo Blahnik Shoes & Lorraine Schwartz Necklace

Kim Out In LA In Splendid Top & Black Orchid Denim

 

Style Snapshot - Splendid Top, Black Orchid Denim & Saint Laurent Denim

Kim Attending Stephane Rolland SS 14 RUNWAY Show In Paris

 

Style Snapshot - Stephane Rolland Jumpsuit, Gianvito Rossi Shoes & Lorraine Schwartz Necklace

Kim In Celine & Givenchy For A Shopping Trip At Tom Ford In Paris

 

Style Snapshot - Celine Coat, Alexander Wang Top, Givenchy Skirt & Tom Ford Shoes

Dancing under storm

I've been a bit tired lately. I've managed to overbook myself - again, haha. Oh well, at least everything I'm doing is gonna be very much fun!

First of all, yesterday I was hair and makeup modeling. Second thing is a little surprise. It's gonna be a little video clip - but you'll find out more about it later.

Next week I'm gonna perform two lectures about parrot training. That's a thing I've been waiting for long and it will be so nice to meet all my animal trainer friends and also the new faces! But have to admit: it's been a lot of work creating the presentations. Tomorrow I'll visit a person who might need some help with a parrot. Then I'm applying for scolarship. That's not so fun to do, planning all the budjet stuff and such - but if I get the grant money I can make one of my dreams come true: my book. I've been writing it forever but it needs some fixing alot. I guess it's maybe a one year's job or less. About parrots, again. :)

And next week's Friday there might a steampunk photo shoot! And because of that I'm meeting the photographer tomorrow. Phew! How can an unemployed manage to get herself into this kind of situation, haha! But that's okay. As I said, everything I'm gonna do is something I enjoy and that may actually change the "unemployed" status.

It's kind of like I'm dancing under storm, inside controlled chaos. I'm focusing so hard that its like life would be slightly desaturated with a couple colored spots. My feeling reminds sort of one photo shoot I once had with Tiina Moilanen:

Photo: Tiina Moilanen / Photogothic.net
Post-production: Shadow Self

 I feel kind of strong, even powerful, knowing I'm controlling all this mess around me. But there aren't much room for emotions. In some things I even need my cunning, sinking in to this "switch to techno magical cyber creature" mode. Okay, this is veeery hard to explain. :D

I've been drinking coffee a LOT! And today we ran out of it. I didn't even realize how hooked up I was before the first cup I just drank. My God, must have been the best cup of coffee EVER, even though it was some cheep brand! It was like Tenacious D's song Tribute - only as coffee version. "The best coffee in the world, it was the best coffee in the wo-o-oooorld!"

...Which gets me to music. Before that coffee I was a bit blue. I tend to listen to music that either suits or alters my mood. And this song was exactly what I needer earlier today:

Harvest Bell is a Finnish band. My boyfriend was their session keyboardist. This song, Afterglow, was uploaded to Youtube today and is probably my favourite from Harvest Bell. :3 I like the guitars especially!

Today I had my Tribal Fusion classes, again. It's been so nice and it's also fun to see that I'm developing. It's much easier to use both shoulder and hip movements now than two weeks ago! Today we did the "snake hands". I liked it! Hands are one of the prettiest things in Tribal Fusion, I think. My teacher was very kind and actually helped me with that surprise project that I mentioned.

I have a bit hard time writing longer posts with two different languages. Hope you don't mind. But if you'd prefer also to see the Finnish translation every time, feel free to comment. It's not that much trouble for me.

Remember to follow the blog. You can join by clicking from the right column. :) Also remember to like the Facebook site! Oh - and when I publish that surprise thing... I need your support. :) Nothing big... but still. I need you, my beloved readers. <3 I hope you'll be there for me.

With love,

Shadow Self

...And as you're flowing in the sky let your birds hold on to you so that you will not fall.

This one I will write in English only, because otherwise it's gonna be quite a long post...

Today there was a nice surprise waiting for me! Maria L sent me just lovely bird necklace as a gift. There was also a little poem that was very touching. The theme of the poem is also very cleverly attached to the jewelry. For me... the poem ment actually more than many would even realize.

The translation of the poem is about:

"If you ever feel that your heart is heavy,

let your birds carry you
until you have the strenght to stand on your own feet again
When your heart is bursting with happiness,

and as you're flowing in the sky

let your birds hold on to you

so that you will not fall."

As many of you know, birds mean the world to me. They are my source of power and energy, my weak spot, my saviour, my most beloved thing in the world. Without birds I'm nothing. I lost them once. It was some years ago... I was diagnosed falsly with bird fancier's lung that is also known as pneumoconiosis. Shortly, what happens is that one day your body decides that some particle (in this case, bird dust) is bad and starts to fight against it. Kind of like an allergy - but much worse. In case of pneumoconiosis the body also sort of like writes a memo to your genes that "Always remember that this particle is shit and you need to crush it! CRUUUUSHHH IT!". This memo can't be wiped anymore: It's uncurable condition and can lead to death unless person avoids the source of reactions. And reactions are also much worse than in any allergy. (I'm stating this since many are saying "So nice that you're not allergic to birds anymore!" Pneumoconiosis isn't really an average "allergy". If it was I would have never given the birds away.) Basicly what happens is that your alveolars (those tiny little follicles in your lung area) will get swollen up. And that means your breath gets severely, badly disturbed.

I fought 1,5 years to repeal the diagnose. At first I didn't believe in it at all but then the doctors convinced me that i couldn't have been anything else. I had to submit. Funny thing though, I had been diagnosed also with mycoplasma that can cause very similar symptoms as bird fancier's lung. But since the antibiotics didn't work they said this couldn't have been the true reason for my condition.

I dwelled behind a weird veil, feeling foggy all the time. I hated everything and everyone, feeling so bitter of my loss. It was as if my soul was poisoned with something I couldn't find cure for. It hurt and burned so much I just couldn't take it. One person told me, sounding ah so quizzical, that I lost the birds so that I would give "more attention" to other people and that I should give more to others and meet new people now. Give more to people and claim my value. Give. Givegivegive. She didn't even know how much I gave to those who I respected. From between the lines she blaimed me for not being social enough and that I was somehow lesser than everyone else because I had focused so much to animals. I got so mad that I avoided people just because she said that. What did I owe to anyone? No-one had right to make me feel guilty if I enjoyed birds more than company of random people. I tried to find new hobbies. I did find some new things but they felt shallow and none of them was deep enough to cover what the bird hobby gave to me. My diary from those days is kinda scary shit to read. I don't even recognize myself. Then came some other problems and I also started to spend more time at bars. Don't get me wrong: I didn't let it get away from my hands. But compared to that previous "Drunk maybe once a year" lifestyle that I had, it was a big change. At least it helped me to forget. ...and at times it brought even more darkness.

But after some coincidences I ended up seeing some birds. Bird fancier's lung should react in 4-8 hours but I didn't get any symptoms. Well, I kept seeing birds and then I decided to consult an old lung specialist. He's opinion was that the diagnose is false since I managed to spend three days in same inner space with almost 40 parrots without symptoms. I searched for more researches and soon I found several other reasons to believe that it wasn't a true bird fancier's lung.


So I decided to make a test. I took two of my own (but relocated) cockatiels to my appartment for a test period. I had them for a week, then two. A month passed, then two. After that the doctors finally approved to do some additional tests. My lung values were perfect. And oh, there was still leftovers of mycoplasma that was never cured - only hidden with cortizone. What had happened was this: I received wayyyy too short antibiotic cure for chronical mycoplasma. The papers said then that the patient doesn't respond to the cure - so it must be pneumoconiosis. But I didn't respond because chronical mycoplasma would need 1-3 months of cure. Instead, I had a 7 days and 10 days cures (if I remember right). But anyways, tests results were good and everything spoke on behalf of that it never really was bird fancier's lung.

And so I received the papers that said the diagnose was probably false. Didn't take long and I started to build my life with birds again. But I can't even describe how hard it was for me. I don't think anything has ever been so devastating. I've lost people, I've lost fortune, I've lost spiritual things. But nothing ever hurt me so much as losing birds. And the feeling when I heard I could take them back to me was amazing. My whole body was trembling with enthusiasm and excitement. I had cold shivers and ASMR tingles, my eyes were in tears and my heart was bursting with happiness. The feeling was so strong that I managed to anchor it. Whenever I feel devastated I just have to do one movement and whisper one word and I can get back to that moment. That's one of my secrets of surviving in life. I managed to capture a moment so strong that it carries me even years after. Having my birds back.

So, for me... This poem and the necklace ment maybe even more than one could imagine. I will let my birds carry me, as I will carry them and do my very best to offer them the life they deserve. Only the best I can give. 

Thank you so much, Maria!

Kim Lunchs At L'Avenue In Paris In Alaia

 

Style Snapshot - Alaia Skirt & Bottega Veneta Clutch

Kim London With Sir Philip Green In Celine & Maison Martin Margiela Boots

 

Style Snapshot - Celine Coat, Maison Martin Margiela Boots, Hermes Bag & Celine Sunglasses

Thoughts about today's photo shoot at Park Hotel

Heippahei, ihanat lukijat! Tänään oli Park Hotellilla Turussa ihan mielettömän kivat kuvaukset Aki Aron kanssa. Otettiin puolinudesetti aamuisen raukeissa tunnelmissa. Innostuimme yhdistelemään asusteita ja huoneen eri kohtia niin monipuolisesti, että yksi kuvaus sisälsi ikään kuin useamman eri kuvauksen. Tuli leikittyä niin harsomaisella valkealla paidalla kuin turkoosimustilla raitasukillakin. Kuvat näyttivät ainakin kameran näytöllä todella kivoilta, eikä olo ollut paljaasta pinnasta huolimatta lainkaan kiusallinen! Itse asiassa fiilis oli jotenkin hyvin mukava ja luonnollinen. :3 En malta odottaa, että näen lopputulokset!

Howdy, my lovely readers! Today I had photo shoot at Park Hotel, Turku. It was just so awesome! The photographer was Aki Aro. We did half nude with languid morning theme. We got excited combining different accessories and corners of the hotel room so that it was almost like we had several different shoots instead of just one. We played for example with veiled white shirt and black/turquoise stripe socks. The pictures looked very nice at least on camera screen, and despite the amount of bare skin I didn't feel awkward at all. Actually I felt very confy and natural. :3 I can hardly wait to see the final results!

Eräs ystäväni pyysi vielä selkeää kuvaa tuosta vaaleanpunaisesta hiusten yläosasta, joten tässä olisi! Hyvin mansikkakermainen. :)

A friend asked me to show a clear picture of my light pink roots so here we go! Ah, it's just so strawberry creamish. :)

Kim's Appearance On The Ellen Show In Nina Ricci & Tom Ford

 

Style Snapshot - Nina Ricci Skirt & Tom Ford Sandals

Kim Out In LA In Citizens Of Humanity Denim

 

Style Snapshot - Citizens Of Humanity Denim, Saint Laurent Shoes & Hermes Bag

Kim Heads Into The IVY Wearing Giuseppe Zanotti Snake Print Sandals

 

Style Snapshot - Hermes Bag & Giuseppe Zanotti Shoes

My milkshake!

Hei, rakkaat lukijat! Hello, my dear readers! 

Otin muutaman kuvan, joista näkyy hyvin nuo uudet vadelmakerman väriset hiusteni juuret. Tavallaan tykkään siitä. Hyvin pirtelömäinen!

I took a couple shots to show my new hair and my new rasberry cream pink hair roots. I kinda dig it. It's very milkshake-like!

 

 

(Also, klikkailepa itsesi katsomaan Body Shopin alennuksia! ^^)